The Hangover - Endymion Edition

🧾 The Before Bed Checklist (Damage Control)

If you’re reading this before you crash—gold star.

☐ Drink one full glass of water (or electrolyte drink)

☐ Eat something salty or carby (toast, crackers, fries—no judgment)

☐ Take magnesium glycinate (optional, helps sleep & headaches)

☐ Set out water + pain reliever on the nightstand

☐ Remove makeup / contacts (future-you says thanks)

Helpful links

• Electrolyte basics: https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/electrolytes

• Magnesium & sleep: https://www.sleepfoundation.org/magnesium

☀️ The Morning-After Checklist (Triage Mode)

Step 1: Rehydrate First

☐ 16–24 oz water immediately

☐ Electrolytes (not just plain water)

☐ Sip—do not chug

Good options

• Liquid I.V. (half packet is usually enough

• Coconut water

• Pedialyte / generic oral rehydration

👉 Why it works: alcohol = dehydration + electrolyte imbalance

https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/addiction/what-to-know-about-hangovers

Step 2: Headache & Body Aches

☐ Ibuprofen or naproxen (avoid acetaminophen until alcohol is fully out of your system)

☐ Cool compress on forehead or neck

☐ Gentle stretching (neck + shoulders)

⚠️ Skip extra meds if your stomach is wrecked.

Step 3: Settle the Stomach

☐ Ginger tea or ginger chews

☐ Peppermint tea

☐ Plain toast, crackers, oatmeal, or bananas

☐ Avoid greasy food until nausea passes

Science-y explanation (but readable):

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6761814/

Step 4: Eat Like a Functional Human

Best hangover foods:

☐ Eggs (cysteine helps break down toxins)

☐ Toast or potatoes (easy carbs)

☐ Soup or broth (hydration + sodium)

☐ Avocado (potassium boost)

Food myths, debunked:

https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/hangover-cures-201306046446

🧠 The Mental Recovery Checklist

Because hangovers are emotional too.

☐ Shower (hot → cold finish if you’re brave)

☐ Fresh air + sunlight for 5–10 minutes

☐ Forgive yourself. You’re fine. Everyone survives this.

🚫 Things That Sound Smart But Aren’t

❌ Energy drinks (dehydration + anxiety combo)

❌ Greasy binge food before nausea passes

❌ Mixing pain relievers without checking labels

Why hair-of-the-dog doesn’t work: (but it's Mardi Gras so whatever)

https://www.clevelandclinic.org/health/health-essentials/what-is-hair-of-the-dog

🏆 The If You Must Function Emergency Kit

Check Your Endymion Goodie Bags:

• Electrolyte packets

• Ibuprofen

• Pepto

• Mints

• Sunglasses 😎

Ernest Hemingway

“I drink to make other people more interesting.”

Benjamin Franklin

“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”

George Bernard Shaw

“Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.”

Mark Twain

“Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.”

Frank Sinatra

“Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy.”

Winston Churchill

“I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.”

Dorothy Parker

“I like to have a martini,

Two at the very most.

After three I’m under the table,

After four I’m under my host.”

Humphrey Bogart

“The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.”